K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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