I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
