I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
