My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Girls should come with a carfax report
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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