They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize