its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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