Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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