she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
