ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
