shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
