I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
