It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
