I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
