New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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