He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he puts the penis in happiness.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
