i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sobbing to NWA
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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