she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
