I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
