Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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