ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
