no, he came in my armpit
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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