how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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