He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
