Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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