well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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