Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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