just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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