piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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