the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I look better un-naked...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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