thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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