somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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