If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Let's paint friendship bongs
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
