im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
