Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
