First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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