I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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