Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
