Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
