im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
