There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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