We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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