We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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