you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am spending my child support on dildos
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
