There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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