Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize