And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
