we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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