Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
