I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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