i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
