This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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