it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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