I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
