How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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