Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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