She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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