I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
