i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Houston, we have a blender
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
