I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
