dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
