I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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