Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
