i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
