it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
