how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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