I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
