don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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