I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
