He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
