just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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