sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize