watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's never too late to be topless.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
