we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
