Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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